Elbies - part 1 Read online

I mean, it's ninety-five percent of the population, not a hundred."

  "Not to mention that we're going to be dealing with the aliens in the C.O.I.L." Jane was very happy about that. "I've read science fiction my whole life, and now I finally get to go into space." She grinned, and my thoughts abandoned the defensiveness they'd had a minute ago with Lorraine. "I didn't think I'd ever be able to do that unless I won the lottery."

  "We're supposed to be enhanced, too," Michelle said, looking at her hands as if she expected them to turn into tentacles. "To make it easier for us to travel in space."

  I looked at Lorraine because something was changing about her. "Lorraine, how old are you?"

  "Rude," Jane whispered.

  "No, no," I quickly said, "you had fully gray hair when you walked up to us." I pointed at her head. "You're almost blond, now."

  Lorraine reached a hand up and pulled a lock in front of her eyes. "Son of a…" She touched her face and looked at the back of her hand. "My wrinkles are gone, too." She had been a little stooped over, and straightened her back with a smile. "No more arthritis. That's an enhancement I can get behind."

  "Fountain of youth," Kevin said. "So, we live forever, now?"

  "My alien friend was pretty old. I don't know about forever, but I think you'll have as long as you want."

  "As long as I want," Lorraine muttered. She'd been youthening in front of us, and now she was looking like she could have stepped off a fitness catalogue. She started walking away, I suppose to her home. "Excuse me," she called back to us. "I guess I'll see you around." She waved and skipped off.

  "Wonder what else we can do." Michelle looked up into the sky as if she was going to take off, Superman-style.

  "I already tried that," Jane said, guessing her thoughts. "Can't fly yet."

  "Shucks." Michelle looked over at me. "So, what are the qualities the C.O.I.L. wants to see going forward?"

  "Acceptance of the situation," I said without thinking. My mind went a little blank as I kept reciting. "Willingness to participate in cultural exchange, a certain degree of friendliness, some intelligence, wisdom and curiosity."

  Michelle looked at me as if I was growing a new head. "You're getting all that right now, aren't you?"

  I nodded. "Yeah." I didn't know how I was getting it, but all of that information was being relayed directly into my brain. I grinned and looked over at Jane. "Do you know how to fly a helicopter?"

  She grinned back at me. "I do now."

  Kevin looked at her in surprise. "Really?"

  "Nah, it's just a line from an old movie," Jane said, waving a hand at him. Yep, I knew who I wanted to spend eternity with. "We won't need helicopters, right, Cal?"

  "I don't think so. My friend Bilbette teleported or walked wherever she went."

  Jane smirked at the mention of my friend's name. "Bilbette?"

  I bobbed my head around like an embarrassed doll. "Yeah, she was a Halfling thief, so, you know…" Jane snickered, but to the other two, I might as well have been speaking in Klingon. "She said we couldn't pronounce her real name."

  "Okay," Michelle said, slowly. I could see that she was the kind of person who likes to stay on track, and this conversation was so far off the rails we couldn't even see the track anymore. "So, we're going to be able to teleport?"

  "That'd be my guess. I'm sure they'll have some kind of orientation for us." Michelle was wondering how the hell I made the cut, and thinking that it was obvious that eloquence was not one of the qualities the C.O.I.L. was looking for. I didn't have telepathy, yet – you could see that in her face. "We have time to figure things out, anyway. After we say goodbye." That brought everybody down, which I was sorry for, especially in Jane's case. "Do you guys have plans for the… the next two months?"

  "Most of my family's in town," Kevin said. "I got some friends I'm gonna say goodbye to, but I don't know what I'm gonna do with myself for most of the time. I'm a plumber; nobody's gonna care if their plumbing don't work now."

  "Depends on what plumbing you're talking about," Jane said, nudging me in the ribs with an elbow. I was so glad she was left behind, because she was going to have my babies and we were all going to live in space together. "I really haven't got anybody. My folks are dead, my sister hates me and I don't know any of my parent's families in China. Most of my friends have already made these elaborate plans to tour the world with their families, but I don't think that's gonna be fun, you know?"

  "Yeah, my gaming buddies are doing the extended tour thing, too. I need to see my family back in Omaha, but I'm thinking that might be near the end." That made me mist up, and the others were quiet for a minute to let me get my composure back.

  "I've got a lot of people to say goodbye to," Michelle said after my lips stopped wobbling. "But the visits might be kind of boring, when you come right down to it. Who’s going to want to work in a restaurant or theater in their last few weeks on earth?"

  "I'm sure there'll be some people doing that to the bitter end," I said. "Especially the live theaters. Actors are crazy."

  "Man, can you imagine being people working on a movie now?" Jane shook her head. "Or writers who haven't finished their books? Not having the time to finish your dreams." We were all quiet again as the new world order became real to us. You couldn't go out and buy things if the people who sold you those things weren't around to sell them. Who was going to wait tables when they had two months to live? Who was going to run the Internet? Who was going to keep the power on?

  "Do you think we're going to be able to handle the transition period?" Kevin's face needed some blood, and I patted him on the shoulder. "Who's going to be going in to work?"

  "I'm sure the Fhh-bop-uh took all this into account," I said, trying to sound reassuring and failing. "They've done this before." I concentrated for a minute, and the plan starting coming to me. "Power will be kept on by Fhh-bop-uh generators, although people will have to start using the teleporters as soon as possible, because fossil fuels will no longer be shipped. Internet functions will transition to the nanite cloud that is C.O.I.L. standard. Food and other necessities will be available from matter transmutation units that are currently being stationed around the world, no further than a thirty-minute walk for any human. Congregation centers will be made available in every concentration of at least 100 humans for purposes of socializing. Schools will…" I faltered at the thought of all the children that were marked, and Jane picked up for me.

  "Schools will be closed until a new educational system for young humans can be devised. There may be little need of this, due to the changing nature of human existence," Jane finished for me. "This will be evaluated post-transition."

  None of us could look at each other.

  Michelle finally broke the silence. "I know that none of you are intending to go to work, but would you all like to get together later?" She smiled widely, and it made a huge difference in her appearance. She had a severe face, but as soon as you saw her pearlies, Michelle could have been a movie star. "Maybe we can plan the future of the Earth."

  "I'm free tonight," Jane said, and that decided me.

  "Me, too."

  Kevin pulled his phone out and looked through his schedule. "After seven?" The rest of us agreed. "I guess I'm in."

  "Great." Michelle looked down the street. "Wish we could have gotten Lorraine, too."

  "Maybe by tonight, we'll have telepathy," I said. They all laughed, but I wasn't joking. "If we do, first one to realize it gets hold of Lorraine, deal?"

  "Deal," they all said.

  I asked, "Should we all put our hands in a circle and yell 'Break'?"

  "No," Michelle said with a roll of the eye. "But, where are we going to meet tonight?"

  I pointed up at my fourplex. "Right over there, unit forty-seven D. I'll have snacks."

  "Sounds good," Jane said, moving off to her own home. "See you guys tonight."

  Kevin waved and said goodbye, and then Michelle and I were left alone. I asked, "Want some breakfast?"
/>   "What have you got?"

  "Eggs, bacon…" I tried to picture the contents of my refrigerator, which was surprisingly easy. "Some mushrooms, spinach and cheese; I could make a couple of omelets."

  "I'm sold," she said, waving me forward. "I wonder if we'll change enough to where we don't eat any more."

  "Bilbette carried snacks with her every game night, so I'm guessing we'll still like to eat, even if we don't have to." I smiled. "Plus, I'm pretty sure we won't have to worry about how healthy something is."

  "That'll be nice." She patted her backside, which didn't look half bad to me, but I'm not picky. "No more worrying about a gym membership." As we walked up the stairs to my place, she asked, "So, you played D&D with one of the aliens." I nodded. She finally gave in to the question that had probably been bugging her since we introduced ourselves. "What is that?"

  "Dungeons and Dragons. It's a roleplaying game."

  "Oh, a computer game?"

  "No, it's a tabletop game. There are computerized aids for it, but we actually played OSRIC, which is a throwback to the earliest forms of the game. Bilbette and my group enjoyed the old-school style of play, which was more focused on imagination and less on the rules and…" I had lost her at tabletop. "It's fun. We'll play it sometime." I thought of my friends and sighed. "I'm gonna need a new group, after all."

  She touched me on the shoulder. "It's going to be strange while we figure out the new world; new universe." We arrived at my door and I let her in. She looked around and nodded.